Meet several bisexual people

I suddenly doubting my sexual orientation is in recent years. I always thought he was straight. Starting around two years ago, I suddenly feel empty, feel the opposite sex already cannot satisfy themselves, often disappointed, always feel against same-sex friends to understand some, I panic this change. I found that I was a bisexual women, strictly speaking, I don't truly bisexual, because I have no gay sex experience, just for some gay friends have a sense of attachment. I also meet several bisexual people, exchanges, often because someone had the opposite sex friend attracted ghosts, finally lead to break up.

I feel hot and cold about men, sometimes fanatical love too crazy, sometimes I feel very hate a man, even feel sick men smell. My heart yearning to meet a woman I can worship. I also often go to bisexual with clubs and bisexual club, I hope I can accidentally met a woman who can understand my feelings. Remember once when watching an independent film, there were two women make love, see the later I feel special stimulation, and even a little excited, and a little at a loss, I think I must have is sexual confusion.

My adolescence and most of the girls, but I've met some people in varying degrees have some influence on me. Come and go in life and all the men and women come and go, went and again, some leave a pure friendship, bring some warmth of love. I often think of those people and things of the past, feel he/they affected me. I found myself has changed a lot over the years, already no longer is the original me, from which began to grow in a day, can't say clear, composed of numerous experiences of life, in silence, every moment.In my life, the other people disappoint me, I also live up to other people, but whether I love or hate, I was careless, because my heart follow. Actually I have love in my life not many, but because each time love "vigorous", so there is always a feeling of "opening". And I still love after "the sea" disillusioned, even my own all feel funny, but I'm a hopeless, because I was born to love adventure, eager to love the game.

I have a potential gay, just haven't met my favorite people, but even met me in the future will ultimately betrayed her, because I know that I'm sure I will be fooled by the man. People are curious about what you do not have and, after confusion is the return to nature, allow yourself to frenzy is the way of knowing themselves. We grew up under the influence of social ideology and heterosexual, gay "awakening", "introspection" and bisexual, after the "liberation" and promiscuous sexual love, eventually goes, depends on what kind of life will encounter some people and things, finally reached a "consensus" depends on itself and society.

To be honest, I don't know whether he likes a man a little more like a woman more, like every time I desire for a man after the disappointment will same-sex friendships, and each time and a gay friend acted peevishly after will go back to straight, gay for me is the spiritual life, heterosexual love life, why not find one way? Don't know, maybe it's haven't met a man in every way to really attract me the person, the person can be male to female, the key is to like and like make good friends on all levels.

Spent many years in the city inside and out, I don't hate or special yearning to the marriage. Marriage, divorce, single, unrequited love, for me, just like different people have different tastes, different state of life is not so much a personal choice, rather than a habit. Heterosexual, gay, bisexual, asexual, narcissism, strange love, torture, abuse, it is just a passive choice, there are many things are in our subconscious after something and be stimulated, some even unexpected ourselves, congenital (physiologic) and acquired (social), interaction and mutual influence.

The essence of love is changeful, the so-called pledge of eternal love is just because there is no landslides sea crack, the end of the world comes, all the love will be gone. True love only means at the moment. Because love is a moment, so just more valuable, more need to cherish. "Grasshopper" is not equal to the present is not good, but because of the complexity of the people decide the person will continue to pursue new ideas, looking for a new resonance. Some people say that I love quickly, get up to fast, also may be soon I "see through" the other and disappointed, but I don't have the feeling of "he who sees through the world of mortals".
I think those who "he who sees through the world of mortals" is forever in the heart in looking forward to the miracle appear, life really have such a "miracle", often a casual things will change our life.